


Depart

by asunamisa



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, Not Happy, Oneshot, Sad, Sad Ending, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 01:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13307313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asunamisa/pseuds/asunamisa
Summary: Allen always endured the pain he felt. But this time, it's to much.(SPOILERS FROM THE ANIME/MANGA FROM NOW ON AND ON THE FIC)This fic is about a day after he ran away from the Order, and Neah (the 14°) starts to talk to him.





	Depart

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic I made a long time ago, and decided to translate to english. It is a sad fic without a happy ending.

 Allen woke up. “ _ Why wake up, if all I feel is pain? _ ” He was lying on a bed. He curled up and started crying. 

  “ _ Why? _ ” He have always been able to bear with all the suffering around him. He endured his sad childhood: being abandoned by his parents, losing the only person that cared about him, Mana, to then bring him back to life, killing him and being cursed. He endured the pain of the Akumas, having to bring salvation for their souls. He endured the fact that he was a Noah, of having inside himself someone capable of killing everyone he loved and maybe even destroy the world. He endured Kanda’s pain, of his past, of his sorrow and suffering. He endured the pain of the third exorcist, who were treated like weapons, only to be thrown away after losing their usefulness. And for what? Here he was now, in a random hotel room, running away from a independent Innocence that want to absorb him, from the Akumas that want to destroy him, from the Noahs that want to capture him and from the exorcists that want to kill him.  

  He had been considered an enemy by all of those he considered his friends. He was called “traitor” and “Noah”. All that remained was pain. 

**You can end all of this. You can stop feeling pain.**

Once again, Neah tried to convince him to give his body to him. Since the day the 14° controlled his body for the first time, he attempt to talk him into giving up. Allen ignored and refused him all the times he did it.

But this time was different. The pain was too strong. He was alone, abandoned, hated. Those words that he never paid attention to, now looked better, more sweet, less painful. And the Noah didn’t fail to notice it.

**You don’t need to care about others. You don’t have to bear all this pain in silence. I can make it all go away: your treacherous friends, all of those who chase you, your pain.**

He knew it was wrong. Knew that he should keep fighting. That this wasn’t the way he behaved. Where were that Allen that always smiled in front of suffering? Where were  that Allen that always moved on? Where were that Allen that fighted until the end and never gave up? All of that seemed so distant, so impossible now. If at least someone cared. If at least those who cared about him hadn’t gone away. In fact, only one person really saw him the way he were and accepted him. And that person died long ago.

_  How much will it hurt? _

  Even knowing that it was wrong, he couldn’t endure it anymore. And he felt tired. So tired. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up again. That was exactly what Neah was offering him.

**Only a bit at the start, but soon, all the pain will be gone. If you go like this, you can have sweet dreams where you will be happy.**

  Give up. This was something that had stop existing on his life after going with Marian Cross, and now it seemed so good.

_  How can I do it? _

  He was able to feel Neah’s smile. It wasn’t mocking. It was a merciful, gentle smile. He almost couldn’t believe it was the Noah who was smiling.  

**Pierce your Innocence through your heart, and I’ll be able to take control of your body. You will live in a world of dreams and memories.**

  Allen got out of the bed, activated his Innocence and pulled the sword from his left arm. When the sword touched his chest, it stopped. His Innocence wouldn’t let him continue this.

_ Crown Clown, let me do this. Let me go. You accompanied me my whole life, and you know how I’m feeling right now. Know that I can barely bear the pain. Let me break free from this, the fight, the Akumas, the humans. Let me give up and sleep forever. _

  Hearing the sadness on his voice and understanding the things he said, the Innocence stop fighting. Allen took a deep breath and pierced his chest with the sword, going through his heart. He felt a great pain all over his body, and he saw himself inside his “inner world”. Neah was there, in front of him. And behind him, there was a road.

**Follow this road, and you will get where you want to be. I’ll follow the road behind you and will take control of your body.**

Allen started to walk towards the way Neah spoke of, but soon stopped after hearing the Noah’s voice. 

**And Allen. I hope you find the happiness you search for.**

The albino smiled and continued to follow the path. **.**

  In the real world, he opened his eyes. Not Allen, Neah.

**Now that I have a body, I will pursue my objectives. Thank you for your sacrifice Allen, my old friend. I’ll make good use of it.**

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell what did you thought of this fic, if I made any grammar mistakes, and constructive criticism.  
> I hope you liked it.  
> Thank you for reading. : )


End file.
